Conductor:

• Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
• Is more powerful than a locomotive
• Is faster than a speeding bullet
• Walks on water
• Gives policy to God

Trombone player:

• Leaps short buildings in a single bound
• Is more powerful than a switch engine
• Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
• Walks on water if sea is calm
• Talks with God

Oboist:

• Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
• Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
• Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
• Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
• Talks to God if special request is approved

Floutist:

• Rarely clears a quonset hut
• Loses tug-of-war with locomotive
• Can fire a speeding bullet
• Swims well
• Is occasionally addressed by God

Bassoonist:

• Makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings
• Is run over by a locomotive
• Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
• Dog-paddles
• Talks to animals

Saxophone player:

• Runs into buildings
• Recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
• Is not issued any ammunition
• Can stay afloat with a life jacket
• Talks to walls, argues with himself

Clarinet player:

• Too afraid to jump building because of their reed
• Works in locomotives
• Too busy with reed for gun
• Throws reed into water
• Thinks reed is god

Trumpet player:

• Argues with building when it won't get out of the way
• Sleeps in locomotive
• Claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth when explaining why he really can't
• Saves water to drink after every triple C
• Thinks he's God.

Tuba player:

• Doesn't really exist
• Plays silently
• Is really a mime in disguise
• Believes there is no God

Percussionist:

• Falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
• Says "look at the choo-choo"
• Wets himself with a water pistol
• Plays in mud puddles
• Loses arguments with himself

Horn player:

• Lifts buildings and walks under them
• Kicks locomotives off the tracks
• Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
• Freezes water with a single glance
• Is God